So Paris Hilton is supposed to go to jail for 45 days because she's a drunk asshole. Now she's trying to appeal to Gov. Arnold for a pardon. The story has absolute GEMS of stupidity. 

The petition, looking to appeal to "all fans and supporters and all that are outraged by injustice," describes Hilton as someone who "provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to [most of] our otherwise mundane lives."

Injustice eh? I was pretty sure driving drunk is against the law for a reason.
And provides hope? For what I might ask? As a reminder to our young girls not to grow up and be useless and ugly?
Providing beauty and excitement to our otherwise mundane lives. Um, if I ever look to Paris Hilton to brighten up my "mundane" life fucking kill me.

"Please allow her to return to her career and life," the petition reads. "Everyone makes mistakes. She didn't hurt or kill anyone, and she has learned her lesson...She is distraught and understandably afraid."

Uh, what fucking career? Socialite is not a career. Hey she didn't hurt anyone or kill anyone so it must be okay! Well that's just peachy.

But the petition asks Schwarzenegger to pardon Hilton, arguing that the socialite's follies paled in comparison to other infamous ne'er-do-wells.

Well you know rape isn't as bad as killing someone so I don't think they should be punished because people do worse things. Yeah that's right.

"If the late Former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late Former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s), we undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well, and we hope and expect The Governor will understand and grant this unusual but important request in good faith to Ms. Paris Whitney Hilton."

Someone shut her up. 

Dear Paris Hilton, You are not Richard Nixon (though arguably as attractive) You are not important, you are not special, you do not deserve special treatment. Do your time you skank.